Navigating the Holidays
The holiday season can be a beautiful time of joy, celebration, and connection — but for many survivors who have experienced or are currently experiencing domestic abuse, it can also be a time of pressure, grief, conflicting emotions, and old wounds returning in unexpected ways.
If the holidays feel heavy for you this year, please know: you are not alone, and nothing is wrong with you.
Your heart has been through so much, and it makes sense that this season might bring up difficult feelings.
One of our amazing group facilitators, Kelly, has put together a collection of gentle, compassionate tips to help you move through the holidays with more peace, space, and support. Her wisdom comes not only from her experience as a survivor, but from the deep care she holds for every Sister she walks alongside.
ATTENTION: If you are a Christian currently experiencing domestic abuse and are torn between your commitment to God and your safety, WE CAN HELP. Please explore our website and contact us when ready. We are here for you. Back to the article.
💜 1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel What You Feel
You do not have to be merry because the calendar says so.
You do not have to be cheerful for others.
You do not have to pretend.
Your emotions — sadness, relief, joy, anger, loneliness, hope — are all valid. They are part of your healing journey. Allow yourself to feel what’s true for you without shame. God meets you exactly where you are.
💜 2. Create Small Moments of Quiet
Even a few minutes to yourself can make a big difference.
You might:
- Sit with a warm drink
- Listen to worship music
- Read a comforting Scripture
- Light a candle
- Take a short walk
- Pray or journal
A quiet moment doesn’t fix everything, but it can steady your heart when life feels loud.
💜 3. Spend Time With Safe People
Holidays can bring pressure to gather with family or people who don’t feel emotionally safe. You are allowed to make choices that protect your peace.
Consider connecting with:
- A trusted friend
- A supportive family member
- Someone who listens without judgment
- A person who will keep your confidence
It’s okay to decline invitations or step away early. Your safety — emotional and physical — matters.
💜 4. Plan Simple Self-Care
Self-care is not selfish. It’s survival.
Kelly encourages you to ask yourself:
- Is there someone who can watch your children or pets so you can rest?
- Is there a small activity that brings you joy — a movie, a craft, a peaceful drive, a walk in nature?
- Can you plan a lunch or coffee with someone who helps you feel steady?
These aren’t luxuries — for many survivors they’re lifetimes.
💜 5. Speak Truth Over Yourself
Domestic abuse often tears down a woman’s sense of worth. This season, remind yourself:
- I am strong and resilient.
- I have protected myself and my family through unimaginable circumstances.
- God sees me and loves me.
- I deserve safety and peace.
These are not empty affirmations; they are truths about who you already are.
💜 6. Set Gentle Boundaries
You are allowed to say:
- “That doesn’t work for me this year.”
- “I won’t be attending.”
- “I need some space right now.”
- “No.”
Boundaries create room for healing. They protect your heart from additional harm. And they honor the beautiful work God is doing in you.
💜 7. Reach Out for Support
If you are struggling, triggered, or feeling overwhelmed during the holidays, please reach out. Healing is not meant to be done alone.
Hagar’s Sisters Care Coordinators are here to support you with prayer, safety planning, encouragement, and compassionate guidance.
You are incredibly wise, resourceful, and brave.
You are not alone this holiday season — not for a moment.
💜 A Few Final Words for Your Heart This Season
As a survivor, navigating through the holidays, remember that healing is not a straight line. Some days may feel peaceful, and others may feel overwhelming — both are normal, both are okay. What matters most is that you keep taking gentle steps toward the safety and wholeness God desires for you. Even when you feel tired, discouraged, or unsure of your next step, God is holding you with a tenderness that never wavers.
We pray that this holiday season brings you rest where you need rest, courage where you need courage, and comfort where you feel ache. No matter what the days ahead hold, you do not walk them alone — we are here with you, and God is faithfully beside you.